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Asterios Kokkinos
Asterios Kokkinos is a Los Angeles based comedian and long-time collaborator with Dick Masterson. First appearing on The Biggest Problem in the Universe and later The Dick Show, Asterios has come to be a fan-favorite among the Dick Show community. Asterios hosts the Boomer vs. Zoomer podcast and THE LOUDEST PODCAST and has an extensive background in television and film. He is not to be confused with Apostrophos Kokkopuffs. ''The Biggest Problem in the Universe Asterios' first appearance was episode 21 of ''BPU where he brought the problem of "Tom's Shoes" against Maddox's problem of "Anti-Vaxxers" and Dick's problem of "Nut-hugging Android Fanboy Cheerleaders Who'd Rather Jerk Off Over Stats and Features in Their Basement Than Talk to People in Real Life." He was a regular guest from then on and was present for the infamous episodes 77 and 107. ''The Dick Show Asterios debuted on ''The Dick Show episode 9 as a caller claiming to be Dr. Incognito Secretman, personal physician of Hillary Clinton, who announced that the democratic candidate's health was suffering due to "not enough crimes." He later appeared as a co-host on episode 21 and brought in a stripper to audition to be the news babe. In episode 22 Dick and Asterios held a presidential debate just a week shy of the 2016 presidential election. Both hosts answered debate questions in representation of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Dickheads then voted for a winner on the site. The following week a winner was decided. Dick Masterson defeated Asterios by over 4,000 votes thus forcing Asterios to cast a winning vote for Donald Trump. It was around this time that Asterios published his first book, Toys "4" Cheap. On episode 33 Dick and Sean received a special visit from the Ghost of Cucksmas Past Himself; Santa Cuck, who plugged his new album Cucksmas Carols. Santa Cuck later appeared as a guest on episode 39 to promote the album and a special live sing-along version was performed at the very first Road Rage in Philadelphia. 'The Sneaky Greek and the Mad Cuck' Following the dissolution of Biggest Problem Asterios continued to work with both Maddox and Dick, much to Maddox's chagrin. In September 2016 a redditor by the name of "BaldEagle" posted screenshots of private conversations between Asterios, Maddox and Metal Jess to r/TheDickShow wherein Asterios expressed his belief that The Dick Show would flop. Asterios contacted Maddox - who claimed to have no idea who BaldEagle was or where they got the screenshots. He then contacted Dick to explain that he spoke out of consolation and didn't truly believe what he said. This was Asterios and Maddox's last interaction. In February 2017 Joshua Kaufman, an attorney for Asterios' employer Weber Shandwick, was contacted by "Heather S," an individual claiming to be a journalist for Condé Nast. Heather claimed to be writing an article about online bullying and harassment. Her aim was to ask Weber Shandwick if they were aware of Asterios' participation in "online harassment of targeted individuals" and whether or not Kokkinos would be held accountable for his online activities. Kaufman requested additional information as to Heather's identity but only received request for "statement." A second request from Kaufman yielded Heather asking for the names of individuals and client companies who were affiliated with Asterios. Justin Wang provides additional detail on this story here. On November 7, 2018 Asterios was sued by Maddox for $20,000,000. Though no judgement was exacted his legal fees were in excess of $25,000, money he didn't have after losing his job as a result of the suit. Asterios banked on counter-sanctions against Maddox to alleviate his financial woes however Maddox had dropped his lawyer Kevin Landau, nullifying the case and keeping both Asterios and Landau from getting paid. Landau, Asterios and Jordan Greenburger (Asterios' attorney) returned to the New York Supreme Court to resume the sanctions battle however the case was thrown out by Justice Andrew S. Borrok. 'Anecdos Kokkinos' Asterios oft arrived to Dick Show streams several hours early. Prior to the taping of episode 31 Asterios poured himself a pitcher of cranberry juice and balanced it on a plate like a court jester for 80's Girl. Dick later discovered a trail of cranberry juice leading from his kitchen to the studio and forbade Asterios from drinking juice ever again. On episode 35 Dick pressed Asterios over goss he heard about Maddox supposedly spreading a rumor of Dick "doing something gross" to Larry. Asterios said a friend of his knew about it and hung up the Discord call. He called back as "The Enigma," a character who speaks exclusively in rhymes. The Enigma would only reveal his secrets if Dick could answer his three riddles, to all of which the answer was "Maddox." After beating around the bush for several minutes The Enigma revealed that Maddox made up a lie about Dick threatening to punch Larry in the face if he took a job at Madcast Media Network. In March 2017 Asterios got into a heated argument with Reddit's own u/WaroftheFanboys following the latter's moderation of an AMAAA (Ask Me Anything About Ass) Dick held on r/TheDonald earlier that month. Asterios and the redditor eventually decided to host a boxing match to settle their disparage. News quickly spread across the Dickiverse, prompting several intermediaries between Dick, Asterios and Fanboys. In separate pre-fight interviews between the two, Fanboys declared that he could easily take his opponent down despite having the blessings of the Greek Gods upon him. Asterios in-turn stated that his tactic was to gain 250 pounds to become so fat that that he would be impervious to attack. Sean even jumped in on the matter, saying that Asterios and Fanboys should just start a podcast a la David Clegg and Silver Hammer. After Asterios and Fanboys spoke in the Dick Show Discord (the Dickscord, if you will) they aloofly agreed to fight that night. Fanboys and his girlfriend drove 6 hours to meet Asterios at a UFC gym on Long Island at 3:00 a.m. where the greatest boxing match in the universe commenced.